8 Keys to Dating When You’re a Single Mom
Dating as a single mother can sometimes be daunting if you haven’t taken the time to plan for it or get clarity on the best practices.
Even though mothers want nothing but the best for their children, they sometimes create complex and dangerous situations. These days, most single people use online dating apps because of the convenience of searching right from home.
If you’re not using dating apps and hoping to meet someone entirely offline, then you’ll likely prolong your success. The COVID Pandemic has created some added hurdles to overcome, especially for single parents with young, unvaccinated children.
Don’t despair; there are plenty of ways to put yourself out there and begin a successful dating journey. Here are ten:
- If you don’t remember your past, you’re bound to repeat it.
Make sure you’ve done a relationship retrospective, and that you’ve reflected on the issues that ended your previous and all past relationships.
- Regain your sense of self.
Sometimes when we come out of long-term relationships, we forget who we are, what we love, and aspire to be. It’s a great time to check in with yourself to reestablish your core values, wants and needs, and life goals. You need someone who aligns with you. If you don’t know who you are, you’ll kiss a lot of frogs and waste a lot of time—journaling is a great way to start the process.
- Keep safe when using online dating platforms.
Even though we love our children and want whoever comes into our lives to love them too, you don’t want to attract child predators. So, whatever you do, DO NOT put photos of your children on any app. You can take other safety measures. I wrote an entire book on that, which you can download if you click on this link.
- Establish a core group of people you trust.
People you can rely on to care for your children when you’re on a date. If you have family members, great! Otherwise, create a pod of single moms who take turns watching the children while the others are out on dates. Sometimes, if you have a pleasant situation with your ex, you can plan your dates when the kids are with their other parents.
5. Don’t be rude but stay available for emergencies.
Keep your phone on vibrate while on a date so you can be available for any emergencies without being disrespectful to your date.
6. Lead with yourself, not with your children.
We all love to talk about our children’s accomplishments. Still, it’s more about vetting the person you’re with during the first few dates. Determine if they are worthy of your time and attention and eventually meeting your children.
7. Timing is everything.
Single parents often ask when I should allow someone to meet my children, and there’s no blanket timeframe to answer that question. However, you should thoroughly vet someone to ensure they are safe and trusted to be around your children. It might take some time, and you may even want to run background checks on the individual to ensure they’re not on a sex-offender list.
8. Don’t let guilt make you a negligent parent.
When you’re newly single, there’s sometimes a certain amount of guilt that may cause you to allow your children to get away with unacceptable behavior. Many relationships end because a single parent does not lay out rules for the kids, and the partner cannot tolerate seeing the disrespect. Instead, it’s crucial to assert the boundaries and standards your kids should respect now more than ever.
The bottom line is that prioritizing your relationship goals is one of the best things for your children. Why? Because if your kids leave home without ever seeing their parents in a happy and healthy relationship, and all they see is dysfunction or loveless marriages, they’re bound to repeat it, and I’m sure you want to break that cycle.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Arlene Washburn, Master Certified Matchmaker, and Science-Based Dating and Relationship Coach.
Arlene Washburn has coached and mentored hundreds of singles and Love Industry Professionals. She’s an industry leader with well over a decade of experience helping individuals achieve their relationship goals.
Arlene can support you with dating and relationship advice. Still, she’s also highly adept with significant life transitions, entrepreneurship, career development, and especially building meaningful relationships.
Besides the latest science and research about dating and relationships, Arlene believes in manifesting your dreams and the law of attraction. She not only talks the talk but also walks the walk with a wonderful loving husband and partner and has launched and run multiple successful businesses after transitioning from corporate America as a pharmaceutical industry senior director to establishing her business.
After cracking the code to her relationship bliss, Arlene is now on a mission to help millions of individuals achieve their relationship goals.