How to Stick with Your 2022 Relationship Goals
A new year means a fresh start. It’s been a long tradition that people make new year’s resolutions and aspire to achieve ambitious goals. Oddly enough, they make the same resolutions year after year only to give up right around the second week in February as 80% of the people do. Research conducted by Strava using over 800 million user-logged activities in 2019 predicted that the day most people were likely to give up on their New Year’s Resolution was January 19. (Strava calls it “Quitter’s Day.”).
How can you keep your goals, especially those related to your love life, on track? Any plan begins with a decision, but a decision comes with much consideration. You may ask yourself some critical questions.
- Why do I want to be in a relationship?
- How do I want to feel when I’m with my person?
- Am I relationship-ready?
There are many reasons you may give up on your relationship goals, so let’s cover what you want to avoid.
- Vague goals require more mental effort than specific ones, where you have already sorted out the details in advance. Specificity helps you provide the mental cues to assist you in sticking to your goals.
- Sometimes you’re just wishing and hoping; You may declare what you want, but if you don’t believe it’s possible, you’re likely to give up. Mindset is a critical part of your ability to accomplish anything, and the only way to defeat doubt is to believe in yourself.
- Your intentions are great, but your chances for success are nonexistent unless you develop new habits. If you have a lot of bad habits today, the last thing you need to do is remodel your entire life overnight. You could start with something easy and build on it the following week.
- Instead of putting the cart before the horse, focus on the actions that can produce an overwhelming amount of results.
- Are you all about reading self-help books, learning and listening to information, and yet taking no action? Nothing happens just by knowing how to. It helps if you took inspired action.
- Taking action doesn’t mean instant results. Some accomplishments can take time and effort, so don’t give up on love.
- If you don’t put yourself first, and work, clients, family, and just about everything come before you, perhaps it’s time for an accountability partner. Someone who can be your cheerleader can talk you off the ledge when you want to give up and likely already accomplished what you want to achieve and can guide you along the way. They can be tactfully honest with you.
Let’s cover some tips you can incorporate to stick with your 2022 relationship goals:
- Piggyback on an existing habit is much easier than introducing and adopting a new practice. For example, you might check your online dating apps every time you’re on your treadmill if you exercise regularly. Or you may say positive affirmations daily after you brush your teeth.
- If you must establish a new habit, make it a “tiny habit” and keep building on it. Minor changes can change everything and add up to long-lasting successes.
- Avoid using willpower through choice architecture–the method of influencing decision-making by designing an environment to make choices easier. For example, you may dress up for work one day each week and go out for dinner instead of going straight home. There’s less friction if you go right after work than if you had to go home first to change and then go out.
- We accomplish what we can measure — so find simple ways to measure what you want to achieve. For example, if you hope to meet someone organically, how many activities are you engaging in that may result in you meeting your person? How often are you responding to or reaching out to someone on your online dating apps?
The bottom line is that no matter your goals and how much you’re willing to work towards them, you’re likely to give up if you’re not celebrating your small wins and enjoying the journey.
About the Author
Arlene Washburn is a certified professional matchmaker and science-based dating and relationship coach with over a decade of experience helping individuals achieve their relationship goals. She’s matched and coached hundreds of singles worldwide. She’s an industry leader as the former CEO of the only state-licensed school for matchmaking in America. In that capacity, Arlene traveled to Asia, Europe, the Caribbean, and the US to mentor and train other Love Industry Professionals.
Arlene combines the latest science and research about dating and relationships with modern-day trends to offer singles the best resources and advice. She also believes in manifesting your dreams by elevating your energy and vibration, plus taking inspired and strategic action to achieve your goals.
After cracking the code to her relationship bliss, Arlene is now on a mission to help millions of individuals achieve their relationship goals. She does this as the founder of AVConnexions.com and the Get REAL Get Love Coaching platform.